The Professor’s Pipe-Sweetening Method
(a.k.a. The Salt and Alcohol Treatment)
(a.k.a. The Salt and Alcohol Treatment)
Author Unknown
[This article was retrieved from the pipes.org forum where it was posted by a member. The only publication data provided was that the article originally appeared in the Pipesmokers’ Welcome Guide 1995, by The Pipesmokers’ Council, London.]
(Endnotes added by David Peterson)
Many people have asked me to make available a step by step set of instructions for my method of sweetening up a pipe. It is in response to my friends that I compose this article. The treatment really works and may result in the finest smoke you ever had from your pipes.
In twenty-five years of pipe smoking and collecting, I have found no better treatment for rejuvenating a tired pipe. The first smoke after the Professor’s Treatment is a joy known by few, to date.
Tobacco contains oils. When combustion occurs, some of these oils are released and are deposited on the inside of the bowl, in the existing cake and in the shank of the pipe. In time, the oils mix with oxygen and turn rancid which is one reason for a bitter or sour taste in a pipe. It is the accumulation of these oils that prevents a pipe from delivering a sweet, flavorful smoke. They can be dissolved and removed with the Professor’s Treatment, restoring that faithful beauty to the delicious, mouth-watering, nut-like sweetness of a well-seasoned pipe.
1. The first step requires certain materials. You need a box of non-iodized salt (1) easily found in any supermarket and a quantity of pure alcohol. (2) I suggest you have clean rag, facial tissues or paper towels handy to wipe up any errant alcohol, lest it dull the bowl finish. Remember, the salt and the alcohol are to be consumed by your pipe so it will smell good, lower your blood pressure, and taste sweet. If you consume the salt and alcohol, you will smell bad, raise your high blood pressure and be drunk. And when you sober up, your pipe will still taste like you are smoking cube cut gnu manure.
2. The second step involves preparing the pipe. Empty any dottle (3) remaining in the bowl. Some people prefer to remove the stem and insert a pipe cleaner in the shank during the process. Others leave the stem in place. Find a location where the pipe may be set in a semi-upright position to prevent the salt and alcohol from spilling or leaking over the top of the bowl or running out the shank. (4)
3. Fill the bowl of the pipe with salt all the way to the top. Some believe also filling the shank with salt will maximize the sweetening effect. Others, as stated above, insert a pipe cleaner in the stem to prevent salt from entering. Try it both ways and choose whichever variation gives you the most desirable results.
4. After filling the bowl with salt, it’s time to add the alcohol. This may be done in several ways. One method entails using an eyedropper placing 8 to 10 drops of alcohol on the salt. (5) A second way involves slowly pouring in alcohol, allowing it to rise to the top of the salt filled bowl. A third way has the salt placed in the bowl in a series of 3 to 5 layers with a few drops of alcohol added to each layer. And a fourth method requires filling the bowl about halfway with alcohol and then topping it off to the brim with salt. Again, I suggest you try each method and choose the one you like best. They are all variations on the same theme which is to achieve a desired admixture with which to entice the gods of sweetness to again reside in the chambers of your pipe. (6)
5. This step is always the most difficult part for me because it requires doing nothing. The time necessary for the salt and alcohol potion to do its magic varies from 8 hours to several days. Some advocate that total evaporation of the alcohol must occur before the salt is removed. Others find that total evaporation isn’t necessary. Experiment and see which produces the best results for you. Of course, the more alcohol that is added the longer it takes to evaporate. In my experience, I have found that 10 to 15 drops in a bowl full of salt will dry in about 24 hours and result in as much sweetness and good taste as any of the other methods.
6. After waiting the chosen time interval, it is time to remove the salt and any remaining spirits of alcohol. Take a pipe tool and poke through the hard brown/black crust which has formed in the bowl. The darkening results as the rancid tars and oils are drawn out of the cake and into the salt by some mysterious process. I have found that thicker cakes produce darker salt. (7) I do not recommend removing the cake that you have worked so hard to build. The cake is a product of a cooperative effect between person (puffing) and nature (tobacco) providing protection against burn-out. It also reduces tongue bite and is a significant factor in producing a sweet and mild smoke. Remove the salt from the bowl by pouring, scraping, brushing, blowing or by throwing it over your left shoulder for good luck. But by all means don’t draw on the pipe before removing all of the discolored salt. Run a pipe cleaner through the stem several times to remove any last grains of salt. Salt often lurks in the cave-like darkness of the stem hoping to ambush unsuspecting taste buds as you comfortably sit back and draw your first long anticipated puff of angel’s breath.
7. Assuming you have followed the steps listed above pretty much in order, allowing for one or two variations of style, your pipe is ready to smoke. Fill it with your favorite tobacco and prepare yourself for an exciting, pleasurable smoking experience.
I hope that many briar friars find the Professor’s Treatment very pleasing and that all adventurous devotees of the pipe and herb who try it will find unexpected enjoyment and a new friend in an old favorite pipe.
I wish good puffing to all of my fellow briar friars.
ENDNOTES
(1) Large grain kosher salt works very well.
(2) The specific type of alcohol you should use will depend on several factors, such as availability, cost, and potency. Many prefer Everclear consumable grain spirits (as high as 95% alcohol), but it is not available or even legal in all locations. Others use Rum 151 (75.5% alcohol) or Vodka (40% to 50% alcohol), but they can be very expensive. Still others prefer to use Isopropyl alcohol (91% alcohol). It is extremely potent and effective, as well as very inexpensive. The choice is yours!
(4) A Tupperware container or similar pan filled with uncooked rice works perfectly for this. The rise allows the pipe to be easily position, yet holds it in place as needed for the S&A treatment.
(5) In my experience, especially with the really nasty estate pipes, I need more alcohol than just a few drops. I prefer to saturate the salt until it is visibly wet. As the treatment proceeds and the alcohol is absorbed into the wood and salt, I will often “top off” the bowl by adding more alcohol during the first several hours of the treatment.
(6) Whichever method for filling the bowl you choose, you need to be very careful not to spill the alcohol onto the outside of the pipe. Drips that run down the outside of the bowl should be wiped off immediately. Alcohol will remove the stain and finish used on pipes.
(7) This brings up an important point. When using the S&A method with your own pipes, it is perfectly fine to leave the carbon cake intact. As the author indicates, this avoids the need for breaking in the pipe all over again. However, with estate pipes that have been smoked by someone else, I strongly recommend that the pipe be carefully reamed before doing the S&A treatment.
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